Everyday it's the same.......
Everyday it's Different......
Everyday it's Questions Repeated......left unanswered
Everyday it's Answers......that fall on Deaf ears
Everyday it's the same.......
Every day it's Different.....
Every day it’s complicated.......
Everyday It’d be so Easy…..
Everyday is a feeling of not being right......Physically
Everyday is a feeling of not being right……Emotionally
Everyday is a feeling of not being right…….Mentally
Everyday, My Brain Fights ME….. more and more.
Everyday it’s something…… I can’t grasp “it,” I don’t understand “It”.
Everyday though,….. I’m expected to explain “it.”
Everyday I wonder how can I explain “it”……so people get “it”……
Everyday I fail to find a way….
Everyday I realize, you can’t understand “it”…..I can only hope for you to be Empathetic.
Everyday I Deal with the blinders people put on.
Everyday I get up Exhausted…… “Why” you ask?...... no sleep
Everyday I get up Ready to Fight….. “Who” you ask?......more than likely,…… myself.
Everyday I try to think of One thing…… to get me through the day.
Everyday I try to give back, somehow, to someone…..
That’s the only purpose I have left……and there are days I can’t even do that.
Everyday I make my bed…..Sometimes that is the ONLY task I complete for the day ((learned that from a Navy Seal….thank you) p.s.-sorry mom but I finally learned the lesson!))
Everyday I grow more and more tired…..and with each little thing I do….. EVERYTHNG gets worse………And when I say Everything, here is just a short list: Headaches/Migraines, Nausea, Arthritic hands, that hurt all the time, Exhaustion, Balance problems, Weakness, Sensory Disorder, Joint pain, eyes that won’t track, Memory problems, Cognitive delays, word finding, BPPV, falling/blacking out, even the inability to play music at times …….and there are more…..but every one of these things…..YOU can’t see….
So You don’t believe,….You question…. An invisible Disease and Injury.
I could go on and on…..but it doesn’t matter……
If no one really wants to listen…..why bother
So, I’ll stop…I’ll answer your questions…. with your already pre-determined answers….because I know what you want to hear.
Every day……I see…..I hear….I listen……I watch…..And I calculate your move……to make it easier to bare.
It’s very simple you see….because it’s the same moves I see from others everyday.
Therefore the game,……is easy……I’m always a step ahead….yet I’m still considered behind…..because well, I just don’t equal “right”.
Everyday I will wear my sunglasses….. to block the overwhelming light…..to block my eyes…..so You can’t see inside.
Everyday, …..I will have my headphones in…to drown out the sounds.….. to keep you away…..because I don’t want your attention or conversation…..It only leads to dismay.
Everyday I Deal with OCD……Anxiety if things are out of place
Everyday I deal with inept people…… unwilling to bend,
Because it seems “stupid” to them……
Everyday……I try…..
Everyday I walk through life…..the majority of the people I see Have NO idea I’m living with a TBI,…… “WHY” you ask…..Well, I look FINE……
Everyday If I play, try to work out, even Mow the lawn….I get physically sick…..
Everyday if I do too much of anything……including playing music….I get sick….
My headaches go up,…… and every symptom I have Increases.
Everyday Is a Recovery day from the previous day…..
How can you recover,…. when you can’t sleep, or eat, or even get a break…..from the constant attacks of the over stimulation of your brain.
Everyday the Brain works…..it never stops…..and neither do my symptoms…..You can’t rehab it like a broken arm……
You can’t push through…..like I always tried to do….
I’m an athlete….that’s what you do!
Everyday is a Battle…….. TBI’s, PTSD, OCD, Agitation, Depression,……TRAUMA…..Not wanting to live.
Everyday is different……
Everyday is the same…..
Everyday I have a headache……..I have for Nine Years!
Everyday I’m told it’s impossible……
No one can have a headache Everyday for nine years…….
I beg to differ……but Why waste words on closed ears…..
So, I Make it easy,……. tell them what they want to hear
Everyday, recently. I wake up with a stabbing pulsating pain behind my right eye….My doctors don’t care…..they are out of ideas,……so they pass me off to someone else, or hand me a prescription for some new drug…..cause what else is there to do?
Everyday now my headaches turn into Migraines.
It’s hurts to move my eyes…..to close them…..to have them open…..
Everyday now I get physically Sick…..but others equate my skinniness to an eating disorder…..
Everyday they are right!......My brain signals my body that food is bad….tell me, how do you fix that?......
Everyday I wonder how others……much stronger than I got through.
Every day it’s the same……
Everyday it’s hard……..
Everyday it’d be so easy…..
Everyday it’s something Different…..
I can’t describe “it”, control “it”, or change “it”,……whatever “it” is
Everyday is the Same.
Everyday…. is out of control…..or controlled by others.
Everyday I’m Chained,……to others, that don’t understand……
Every day they think they have the answers…… to give me the upper hand…..
Everyday I say “no it’s ok…….I’ll figure it out”…..but no one gives me a chance……all I want is independence.
Everyday I search for words,…. that I can see…… but can’t say…..
Everyday I’m interrupted…… by people who are impatient …..so they answer for me.
Everyday I’m told I’m smart…..You’ll get better….. make a difference.
Everyday I’m reminded of “who I was”….Who they say I’ll “Get back to”……
The athlete, The academic, The sax player, The Teacher, The Coach The artist, The writer…….
Everyday…I try to tell them I won’t…..I can still be a musician, but not a sax player…..I can still be a writer if the words come…..I can still be an artist, but not the same as I was……but the “new me”….isn’t as good…..in their eyes, or mine……
They want the Old me….So Do I…..but that person is dead and gone.
Everyday I think of things that maybe would work……I try….My body fails me.
Every day is the same hope for them….
Every day is the same lack of hope for me.
Everyday I’m told …….I’m not remembering…..Correctly…….
Everyday My brain injury tricks me…..so I doubt myself….what is true?
Then, I’m told,….. don’t use your brain injury as an excuse…..I don’t.
Everyday I have to explain why I am the way I am.....
Everyday I try…. and I can't make them stop.........Can’t even get them to truly Listen……So why try?
Everyday it’s the same………
Everyday It’s different……
Everyday I take pills, to make me "better",…..They don’t
Everyday I try to distract my mind with things I "love"......except none of it works anymore......
Everyday I use the tools friends have given me.......why can't I make them work?......
I’m intelligent, I should be able to figure it out….but my brain won’t work…….The Pain is too much…..The “nothing” is taking over.
Everyday I combat pain….with more pain.
Everyday I’m told “I need help”……what is it you think I’m doing all week long?
Everyday I forget some of the tools I’ve been given….I’ve lost them.
In doing so I lose myself,…… to myself…… over, and over again.
Everyday I sit in Solitude......Confine myself to my room to keep everyone safe…..So no one “upsets” me……So I don’t hurt anyone.
Everyday I sit on my floor, staring at the wall, trying to find the will to move.
Everyday is me, just trying to survive......
Everyday I look to the sky........trying to find answers
Everyday I see things I used to do.......
Everyday I see things I can't do......but people still want me to do them….and think I can do them….. I can’t.
Everyday there is music.....My saving Grace……some days it works...
Everyday there is music.....My cause for Dismay……some days it makes it worse….
Everyday there is silence.......more deafening than the voices in my head.
Everyday is Different…
Everyday is the same….
Everyday I'm asked why?......”Why are you doing this, or not that”,… “Why aren't you trying harder”….”Why are YOU on SSDI that’s not right you’re FINE…..”
Everyday is a struggle......taking every ounce of energy to just get up.
EVERYDAY.......HEADACHES torment me, pin me down….. Almost everyday they reach Migraine status.
Surgery, last year, was supposed to help that…….It hasn’t
In fact, I’ve never recovered, to my baseline before my surgery.
I’ve back tracked…..lost things,….Things I had worked so hard to regain…..
Everyday I notice things aren’t coming back…..and more than likely won’t.
14 concussions will add to that…..but who wants to hear about that.
Everyday there is Pain......Mentally, Physically, Emotionally,….. and some I can't even explain….because I can’t find the words.
Everyday I'm exhausted......I'm asked why?
Everyday I don't sleep......if I do it's only a couple hours......If I do it's induced by drugs......that's not sleep.
Everyday I wake up and feel like I've been hit by a bus…because that’s what a drugged sleep will do.
Everyday I go to appointments........literally, everyday…. except maybe one day per week.
Everyday People say they “Understand”........Reality,…. they have no idea.
Everyday People tell me new ideas of what will "fix" me.
Everyday, I deal with people who are blind to Reality,…. who say they understand……
If you truly understood you wouldn't say "I'm not trying", or that "I'm using the system", Or that you can “fix” me.
Everyday I’m told…… "I just need to do what's best for me"
Everyday I wake up knowing I cannot…..so I do what’s best for others.
Everyday I wake up knowing I will be asked the same questions over and over again.
I will be told I look Great, so I must be doing better.
Everyday I fight a battle of silent, unseen injuries, and illnesses
Everyday it's the same.......
Every day it's Different.....
Every day it’s complicated.......
Everyday It’d be so Easy…..
Everyday it's Different......
Everyday it's Questions Repeated......left unanswered
Everyday it's Answers......that fall on Deaf ears
Everyday it's the same.......
Every day it's Different.....
Every day it’s complicated.......
Everyday It’d be so Easy…..
Everyday is a feeling of not being right......Physically
Everyday is a feeling of not being right……Emotionally
Everyday is a feeling of not being right…….Mentally
Everyday, My Brain Fights ME….. more and more.
Everyday it’s something…… I can’t grasp “it,” I don’t understand “It”.
Everyday though,….. I’m expected to explain “it.”
Everyday I wonder how can I explain “it”……so people get “it”……
Everyday I fail to find a way….
Everyday I realize, you can’t understand “it”…..I can only hope for you to be Empathetic.
Everyday I Deal with the blinders people put on.
Everyday I get up Exhausted…… “Why” you ask?...... no sleep
Everyday I get up Ready to Fight….. “Who” you ask?......more than likely,…… myself.
Everyday I try to think of One thing…… to get me through the day.
Everyday I try to give back, somehow, to someone…..
That’s the only purpose I have left……and there are days I can’t even do that.
Everyday I make my bed…..Sometimes that is the ONLY task I complete for the day ((learned that from a Navy Seal….thank you) p.s.-sorry mom but I finally learned the lesson!))
Everyday I grow more and more tired…..and with each little thing I do….. EVERYTHNG gets worse………And when I say Everything, here is just a short list: Headaches/Migraines, Nausea, Arthritic hands, that hurt all the time, Exhaustion, Balance problems, Weakness, Sensory Disorder, Joint pain, eyes that won’t track, Memory problems, Cognitive delays, word finding, BPPV, falling/blacking out, even the inability to play music at times …….and there are more…..but every one of these things…..YOU can’t see….
So You don’t believe,….You question…. An invisible Disease and Injury.
I could go on and on…..but it doesn’t matter……
If no one really wants to listen…..why bother
So, I’ll stop…I’ll answer your questions…. with your already pre-determined answers….because I know what you want to hear.
Every day……I see…..I hear….I listen……I watch…..And I calculate your move……to make it easier to bare.
It’s very simple you see….because it’s the same moves I see from others everyday.
Therefore the game,……is easy……I’m always a step ahead….yet I’m still considered behind…..because well, I just don’t equal “right”.
Everyday I will wear my sunglasses….. to block the overwhelming light…..to block my eyes…..so You can’t see inside.
Everyday, …..I will have my headphones in…to drown out the sounds.….. to keep you away…..because I don’t want your attention or conversation…..It only leads to dismay.
Everyday I Deal with OCD……Anxiety if things are out of place
Everyday I deal with inept people…… unwilling to bend,
Because it seems “stupid” to them……
Everyday……I try…..
Everyday I walk through life…..the majority of the people I see Have NO idea I’m living with a TBI,…… “WHY” you ask…..Well, I look FINE……
Everyday If I play, try to work out, even Mow the lawn….I get physically sick…..
Everyday if I do too much of anything……including playing music….I get sick….
My headaches go up,…… and every symptom I have Increases.
Everyday Is a Recovery day from the previous day…..
How can you recover,…. when you can’t sleep, or eat, or even get a break…..from the constant attacks of the over stimulation of your brain.
Everyday the Brain works…..it never stops…..and neither do my symptoms…..You can’t rehab it like a broken arm……
You can’t push through…..like I always tried to do….
I’m an athlete….that’s what you do!
Everyday is a Battle…….. TBI’s, PTSD, OCD, Agitation, Depression,……TRAUMA…..Not wanting to live.
Everyday is different……
Everyday is the same…..
Everyday I have a headache……..I have for Nine Years!
Everyday I’m told it’s impossible……
No one can have a headache Everyday for nine years…….
I beg to differ……but Why waste words on closed ears…..
So, I Make it easy,……. tell them what they want to hear
Everyday, recently. I wake up with a stabbing pulsating pain behind my right eye….My doctors don’t care…..they are out of ideas,……so they pass me off to someone else, or hand me a prescription for some new drug…..cause what else is there to do?
Everyday now my headaches turn into Migraines.
It’s hurts to move my eyes…..to close them…..to have them open…..
Everyday now I get physically Sick…..but others equate my skinniness to an eating disorder…..
Everyday they are right!......My brain signals my body that food is bad….tell me, how do you fix that?......
Everyday I wonder how others……much stronger than I got through.
Every day it’s the same……
Everyday it’s hard……..
Everyday it’d be so easy…..
Everyday it’s something Different…..
I can’t describe “it”, control “it”, or change “it”,……whatever “it” is
Everyday is the Same.
Everyday…. is out of control…..or controlled by others.
Everyday I’m Chained,……to others, that don’t understand……
Every day they think they have the answers…… to give me the upper hand…..
Everyday I say “no it’s ok…….I’ll figure it out”…..but no one gives me a chance……all I want is independence.
Everyday I search for words,…. that I can see…… but can’t say…..
Everyday I’m interrupted…… by people who are impatient …..so they answer for me.
Everyday I’m told I’m smart…..You’ll get better….. make a difference.
Everyday I’m reminded of “who I was”….Who they say I’ll “Get back to”……
The athlete, The academic, The sax player, The Teacher, The Coach The artist, The writer…….
Everyday…I try to tell them I won’t…..I can still be a musician, but not a sax player…..I can still be a writer if the words come…..I can still be an artist, but not the same as I was……but the “new me”….isn’t as good…..in their eyes, or mine……
They want the Old me….So Do I…..but that person is dead and gone.
Everyday I think of things that maybe would work……I try….My body fails me.
Every day is the same hope for them….
Every day is the same lack of hope for me.
Everyday I’m told …….I’m not remembering…..Correctly…….
Everyday My brain injury tricks me…..so I doubt myself….what is true?
Then, I’m told,….. don’t use your brain injury as an excuse…..I don’t.
Everyday I have to explain why I am the way I am.....
Everyday I try…. and I can't make them stop.........Can’t even get them to truly Listen……So why try?
Everyday it’s the same………
Everyday It’s different……
Everyday I take pills, to make me "better",…..They don’t
Everyday I try to distract my mind with things I "love"......except none of it works anymore......
Everyday I use the tools friends have given me.......why can't I make them work?......
I’m intelligent, I should be able to figure it out….but my brain won’t work…….The Pain is too much…..The “nothing” is taking over.
Everyday I combat pain….with more pain.
Everyday I’m told “I need help”……what is it you think I’m doing all week long?
Everyday I forget some of the tools I’ve been given….I’ve lost them.
In doing so I lose myself,…… to myself…… over, and over again.
Everyday I sit in Solitude......Confine myself to my room to keep everyone safe…..So no one “upsets” me……So I don’t hurt anyone.
Everyday I sit on my floor, staring at the wall, trying to find the will to move.
Everyday is me, just trying to survive......
Everyday I look to the sky........trying to find answers
Everyday I see things I used to do.......
Everyday I see things I can't do......but people still want me to do them….and think I can do them….. I can’t.
Everyday there is music.....My saving Grace……some days it works...
Everyday there is music.....My cause for Dismay……some days it makes it worse….
Everyday there is silence.......more deafening than the voices in my head.
Everyday is Different…
Everyday is the same….
Everyday I'm asked why?......”Why are you doing this, or not that”,… “Why aren't you trying harder”….”Why are YOU on SSDI that’s not right you’re FINE…..”
Everyday is a struggle......taking every ounce of energy to just get up.
EVERYDAY.......HEADACHES torment me, pin me down….. Almost everyday they reach Migraine status.
Surgery, last year, was supposed to help that…….It hasn’t
In fact, I’ve never recovered, to my baseline before my surgery.
I’ve back tracked…..lost things,….Things I had worked so hard to regain…..
Everyday I notice things aren’t coming back…..and more than likely won’t.
14 concussions will add to that…..but who wants to hear about that.
Everyday there is Pain......Mentally, Physically, Emotionally,….. and some I can't even explain….because I can’t find the words.
Everyday I'm exhausted......I'm asked why?
Everyday I don't sleep......if I do it's only a couple hours......If I do it's induced by drugs......that's not sleep.
Everyday I wake up and feel like I've been hit by a bus…because that’s what a drugged sleep will do.
Everyday I go to appointments........literally, everyday…. except maybe one day per week.
Everyday People say they “Understand”........Reality,…. they have no idea.
Everyday People tell me new ideas of what will "fix" me.
Everyday, I deal with people who are blind to Reality,…. who say they understand……
If you truly understood you wouldn't say "I'm not trying", or that "I'm using the system", Or that you can “fix” me.
Everyday I’m told…… "I just need to do what's best for me"
Everyday I wake up knowing I cannot…..so I do what’s best for others.
Everyday I wake up knowing I will be asked the same questions over and over again.
I will be told I look Great, so I must be doing better.
Everyday I fight a battle of silent, unseen injuries, and illnesses
Everyday it's the same.......
Every day it's Different.....
Every day it’s complicated.......
Everyday It’d be so Easy…..
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