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Jessie McGee Interpretive Art
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New Year. 2015

1/9/2015

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As we slip into the New Year, either alone, with loved ones, or with friends at our sides, many will rejoice in its new beginnings and ideas. Celebrations, with loved one's and friends, will last well into the night and early hours of the “New Year”. Many will consider the day as a new start to a better life; one which doesn't have the same mistakes, stresses, and pitfalls of the previous year. Some will dislike the number, 2015, simply because it ends with an odd number, but when you add it up it’s even; and so yet others will find relief in this fact, and have it be their favorite. Others will think it will bring them luck; but whatever you think, it's just a number, just another day, just something created to keep track of this life here on earth. Some of you may say this is too dark and pessimistic, but I say it is just statements of what are, what was, what could be, and what might have been,….. just realistic. I don’t know you or your life, or the struggles you may have faced. I only know my own, and how my year played out. It wasn’t the best, and it wasn’t my worst, (although it was pretty damn close). Lots of falls, and bumps; Lots of should haves, would haves, and could halves. Lots of time spent trying to figure out how to better my life, when everything in me says push through, but everyone around me says “no, you can’t you must rest”. I’m sure those of you who are athletes will understand, there is always a come back, it takes work, it hurts, but it can be done; and yet, it’s been a 7.5 year comeback, and nothing is changing. I’ve been through my darkest days, not wanting to continue on, I’ve gone through countless medications trying to “fix” me. Or having others try to “fix me”; surgery is coming up, but even that will not “fix” me, it will just change me, all I can do is hope for the better. I have not right to complain, my life could be worse, I have a roof over my head, food, family that is supporting me; and although I hate it I know I am blessed. I have a few close friends, a family that doesn’t “get me”….but loves me, and the Best Dog and friend I could ask for named Annie . Maybe it was your best year yet, full of good times, cheer and grace; love laughter and celebrations of joy. Maybe it was your worst, if so, I hope you find this year to be more joyful, fulfilling, and if nothing else…….peaceful.

The fact is, nothing really changes… when the clock strikes midnight, fireworks go off, we do whatever it is we have decided to do to “forget” or “remember, we do what we must to try and stop, or gain more time. Something none of us can do; as time is fleeting, and uninterrupted, and something none of us can control.

The New Year is a celebration of the "death" of the last 365 days, and the beginning of the next 365 days. Whether they are good days or bad days, there will be more days. For many, these days will be remembered with joy and the hope for a better year. For others they may just want to bury the past, and forget. 
It’s a celebration of a New Year filled with nothing, no mistakes, or missed chances. No loved ones lost, a new slate, wiped clean…Or at least that’s what we tell our brain. We focus on what we want to change and control. How we can make ourselves better, more productive, stronger, healthier; Giving ourselves goals to achieve, to become whole. Yet we are surprised that after an initial “good start” it becomes hard work, uncomfortable, not what we expected, was over rated, etc.…… and we quit. 

We make it all about “me” instead of possibly thinking outside the box, and making a better “we”, whether it be through volunteering, or helping a neighbor with some homemade meals or chores, or even just not doing something that may or may not cause pain for someone else, we have that choice. The choice of giving instead of taking, pushing ourselves and not quitting, remembering and not forgetting, even if forgetting is what we truly want to do. Giving of ones’ times Is the most preciouses gift we can give, it involves stepping outside ourselves, and putting others first. Some would argue that we should do what is right for yourself, but what’s “right” when you’re not helping anyone else. Even the “lowest” of jobs really aren’t low, and in fact are some of the hardest jobs and hardest workers you will run across; and yet we judge them, instead of thanking them; we put them down, tell them they aren’t worth the time….Why, because a society so wrapped up in “self” tells us so. So we go along with the idea, we follow the idiocy of it all like blind sheep. So that this year, then, becomes much like the previous year, where we tell ourselves we’ve failed, so why even try, pick up old habits, fall back into destructive spirals, and wave goodbye to the feeling of hope we had at midnight; When toasts were given, and fireworks lit off. When lovers found a new spark and others just found new friends, or remembered how important old friends were. Some of us remember loved ones we lost, and try to immortalize who they were, and wanted us to be, by trying to stop time. But we can’t, as the seconds tick by, there isn’t much time left before we must move on, and start the next 365 days of our “new life”. So we start anew thinking we will make this year something better or different, not stopping to think if we will even see tomorrow. There is no guarantee that we have another year, month, or even day to live. If only people celebrated the "now", this moment in time, as much as we celebrate the anticipated future. 
So I guess my New Years thoughts are this; some lyrics from a song Mary and I wrote while in college, but has always applied to my daily life no matter what the year number is. Do I forget it…. yes like most of all my lyrics, or poetry, but that doesn’t make it any less true. Now is just another reminder for me; but maybe for you it will bring some clarity to what New Years is all about: "Live for the moment, in the hear and now, use every second of the day, every minute and hour, you never know when this day might be your last; You gotta stop, stop living in the past , take things in stride, and don't let life pass you by, got to go for what you want and take control”. LIVE FOR THE MOMENT, just don’t forget while you are living your life with purpose, every now and then check to see if someone might need the reminder from above; or a loving hand to guide them through the darkness they might be in. Be the Light you want others to see! I wish you all happiness, but mostly I just want you all to find yourselves and a sense of peace that goes along with wherever you are at.






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    I am currently on a journey to rediscover who I am, what I want to do, and how I can become the best person I can be.  The trick is to accomplish these tasks without sacrificing myself to the expectations of an unrealistic, and materialistic society.  

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