Well, this post is all about expectations, fears, and the ability of our mind to take something very simple and complicate it so much that we find we cannot even fathom a way to overcome it.
The last month, or so, I’ve witnessed this phenomenon both first hand, and from afar. It’s funny though, you can’t really see it first hand, until someone else points it out and even then, you deny that they are right. What your mind has created is so real, that there is not even the possibility for you to see it otherwise. In fact, the only way for you to eventually see that what you your mind has conjured up, is perhaps a bit off, is for the event to unfold; completely and without any regard to you. The true reality has to ultimately hit you up side the head, and wake you from your fig-minted reality.
When you witness someone else going through the same thing, you see him or her build these walls, that are basically layered with air. Nothing substantial holds them together; no mortar, or glue, just space in between the blocks they are building. Space, that their mind does not fill, space that to them becomes solidified, even though everyone else can see right through it. Trying to reason with such a person is pretty much a defeated task right from the start. They feel as though there is a fortress around them; that their story, their idea, is set in stone. Therefore, the best possible thing you can do, is to enter in with them knowing that the walls really don’t exist, or at least aren’t as high as they think they are. Perhaps, even take a ladder with you, so that when they start to realize that the walls are crumbling, and that they are not closed in; that there is in fact light on the other side, you can help them get there without falling off the top, back into their wandering mind. Because, the thing about our mind, is that it does not always learn the first time. We continue to build the same walls, the same lies or truths, whichever way you see it, over and over again until finally our mind learns a new way to think. It’s only then that we can start to see how things might occur differently than what we first thought; and only then can we accept the reality, that maybe someone else knows a truth we cannot see.
We as people, at least most of us, tend to jump to the worst possible outcomes and build from there. No one I’ve met ever says, “I know that is going to work out, and their will be rainbows and butterflies, and everyone will get alone etc.” No, instead it’s “I know this isn’t going to work, people will hate me, their will be dragons and fire, and the earth will fall from underneath my feet”. We learn to expect the worst, and when something good comes along we wait for the “catch”. Because we can’t fathom anything “good” happening to us, without some sort of expectation, we beat ourselves into the ground. We are free to give accolades and positive reinforcement to others; free to help others see the truth about what they perceive might be a “Boogie Man” in the closet. But, we ourselves fear positive accolades, we don’t allow ourselves to be treated with the high regard and respect we treat others. We treat ourselves as less than, and that is when the mind starts to wander. It gets caught, much like a skipping movie reel, so that the only way to fix it is to take it off, rewind it, and start from the beginning. Only then can we see, that the end of the story is not always what we expected. Sometimes, it turns out we were watching a different movie the entire time.
The last month, or so, I’ve witnessed this phenomenon both first hand, and from afar. It’s funny though, you can’t really see it first hand, until someone else points it out and even then, you deny that they are right. What your mind has created is so real, that there is not even the possibility for you to see it otherwise. In fact, the only way for you to eventually see that what you your mind has conjured up, is perhaps a bit off, is for the event to unfold; completely and without any regard to you. The true reality has to ultimately hit you up side the head, and wake you from your fig-minted reality.
When you witness someone else going through the same thing, you see him or her build these walls, that are basically layered with air. Nothing substantial holds them together; no mortar, or glue, just space in between the blocks they are building. Space, that their mind does not fill, space that to them becomes solidified, even though everyone else can see right through it. Trying to reason with such a person is pretty much a defeated task right from the start. They feel as though there is a fortress around them; that their story, their idea, is set in stone. Therefore, the best possible thing you can do, is to enter in with them knowing that the walls really don’t exist, or at least aren’t as high as they think they are. Perhaps, even take a ladder with you, so that when they start to realize that the walls are crumbling, and that they are not closed in; that there is in fact light on the other side, you can help them get there without falling off the top, back into their wandering mind. Because, the thing about our mind, is that it does not always learn the first time. We continue to build the same walls, the same lies or truths, whichever way you see it, over and over again until finally our mind learns a new way to think. It’s only then that we can start to see how things might occur differently than what we first thought; and only then can we accept the reality, that maybe someone else knows a truth we cannot see.
We as people, at least most of us, tend to jump to the worst possible outcomes and build from there. No one I’ve met ever says, “I know that is going to work out, and their will be rainbows and butterflies, and everyone will get alone etc.” No, instead it’s “I know this isn’t going to work, people will hate me, their will be dragons and fire, and the earth will fall from underneath my feet”. We learn to expect the worst, and when something good comes along we wait for the “catch”. Because we can’t fathom anything “good” happening to us, without some sort of expectation, we beat ourselves into the ground. We are free to give accolades and positive reinforcement to others; free to help others see the truth about what they perceive might be a “Boogie Man” in the closet. But, we ourselves fear positive accolades, we don’t allow ourselves to be treated with the high regard and respect we treat others. We treat ourselves as less than, and that is when the mind starts to wander. It gets caught, much like a skipping movie reel, so that the only way to fix it is to take it off, rewind it, and start from the beginning. Only then can we see, that the end of the story is not always what we expected. Sometimes, it turns out we were watching a different movie the entire time.
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